I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
