But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
