hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
