you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
