party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Boobs speak an international language.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
