All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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