if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize