Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
