it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dick has a subreddit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
