I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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