So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize