No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
