Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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