i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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