Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
