There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
