i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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