we're blogging at a bar
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So many bounce houses so little time
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
