She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
