is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
