I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
