I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
