like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
