I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
