Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
