She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
