If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone shit on the floor
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
