You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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