if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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