ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize