I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
