It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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