Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
