i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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