Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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