If i come over, it means nothing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
