i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
