Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
