Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
