Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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