My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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