i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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