Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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