Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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