If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
