spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
