sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
