I could have mohawked her pubes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
