I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
