I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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