Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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