If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
