We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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