she woke up with a sticky ear
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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