"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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