i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
