the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
