woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
