Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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