she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We need to get me chipped asap
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