...so i touched it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
