So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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