Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
